I tore open the blank canvas and set it upon my easel. My wooden easel was littered with speckles of paint from previous concoctions. The past few weeks I’ve felt empty. I was empty from my creativeness that usually never leaves me. Often I have an endless source of ideas that sometime bog my mind. The majority of the time I don't even play the radio in the car when I’m driving. Even when I jog I tend to listen to calming songs to pep me up rather than the uplifting hard rock. Television drives me insane, its like someone is trying to get into my head and take away my "process". I’m a calmer person when the TV is off.
If my mind is on sensory overload or I’m working at other tasks, my heart races and my mind feels frazzled with the distraction and noise. I can channel my thoughts and focus and bring out the best in myself with the peace and calm. Sometimes, I think I can focus my energy into a special area of my brain. I’m guessing its some sort of gift to be able to replicate an old master of fine art. Visually I’m very fortunate in my photography and my paintings. The biggest challenge is to find that time needed to conquer my gift and deliver progress…that is, make some real money.
I know I’m within reach. I know I can do it, not be famous or well-known, that’s not me, but rather I want to leave a legacy behind. Stories are what this world is based upon. I hope to leave behind strength, hope, faith and inspiration. The world has become a dark place and needs some uplifting art or images that can provide a sense of hope or healing.
I was done with feeling flat and empty so I started to paint circles. I really don’t know how many circles I painted. Each circle represented an abstract flower. I layered and layered the colors and strategically placed them with complimentary colors. Honestly as I was painting the smaller dots or circles I was thinking of my youngest child. My son has type 1 diabetes and he has to poke his fingers at least 8 times a day. Diagnosed at age 6, he is the strongest most courageous boy I know; I just realized it’s almost been 3 years! How many drops of red has he dispensed from his little amazing fingers? An estimate of over 8,000 drops he has had to give to measure his blood glucose. So, I figured I could keep painting these dots for a long time if he could do it.
Circles seem to bring out the best in me. Somehow they are meditative and calming. This painting was to be therapeutic as well as a creation for others to enjoy. I named it “Infinite Inspiration.” This world needs it.
Mom, Wife, Artist